You Can’t Do Anything About The Length Of Your Life…

I received this email from a dear friend this morning.  She could not have picked a more perfect time.

I was having one of those mornings where you lose sight of the moment and your focus expands to the finish line of your tasks at hand.

Thank you for shaking my state of mind and bringing it back to enjoying and cherishing the present moment of the journey.

Enjoy your day, find the love and joy in what you are doing at the moment, take time to breathe for a moment, smile and laugh.

Below is the powerful email that was just sent to me.

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Hi Fred,

Came across this today…it was thought provoking and reminding me of your way of living…

hope you have a GREAT weekend =).

“You can’t do anything about the length of your life, but you can do something about its width and depth.”   Shira Tehrani

Life is a funny thing. It’s an ever-going marathon, yet no one knows where his or her finish line is. We just keep running and running, hoping we still have a long way to go. We do whatever we can to prolong the run, but sometimes despite our best efforts, the marathon is cut short. So many of us are only concerned about the distance we are traveling, we lose focus of what’s going on during the run. And this is the important part, so take advantage. Stretch some personal boundaries, work outside of your comfort zone, try something new. There will be bumps along the road, shortcuts, and paths that lead into dead ends. These are all parts of the journey; how you deal with them will determine where you go in life. Remember, we don’t always determine the distance, but we can determine the path.

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My Experience At The Kelowna Apple Triathlon

I can now see why they say the Apple Triathlon is the most respected Olympic Distance triathlon in all of Canada, where even our  world class OLYMPIC Athletes come to race at this event. Simon Whitfield, kyle Jones, Paul Tichelarr, Lauren Groves, Kathy Tremblay.

Karina Clark, 3 time world champion triathlete, said it best “Of the 30+ races I have done, including 3 World Championships, Kelowna remains my absolute favorite.  The volunteers are second to none. They are all helpful, friendly, and just super!”

I have spent the last decade going from one kind of event to another.  This by far was one of the most impressive events I have experienced.

I had the pleasure of experiencing this event from all points of view, as a volunteer, exposure to the amazing organizers and as a competitor.  From the beginning to the end, the joyful experience will stay with me for all time.

From the first time I met Mike Hassard, one of the main volunteers, he was a true example of what it mean to be of service to all those that crosses his path.

Through Mike I had the pleasure of meeting Richard Montgomery, the president of the Apple Triathlon.  With over 846 volunteers, 20+ races, sight of 5000 spectators, 1600 racers, Richard at no point, through the organization of the event or at the event it self, lost his well mannered and relaxed demeanor.  With a million things to keep organized that weekend, he still took the time to give me some guidance on my race at the event.  (Don’t let this grey haired man fool you, he is a true triathlete competitor at heart.)

All that being said, if anyone has raced in the Okanagan then they have heard the name Randy Sparrow.  Randy is the living legend known as the Race Director.  Randy has the ability to keep all the above organized and making the event run like a well oiled machine.

Even Greg Peters from Tri-Canada mentiond a note about Randy: “You continue to do a fantastic job, and I have no idea how you can keep so much information about the event in your head and recall it so quickly.”

Triathletes are a unique group of people, they have tapped into their internal drive to push their limits, to study their bodies peak performance, to commit when others only talk, but what truly makes them special is their desire to help others succeed.

In my last half of the run, I was cramped and had lost too much salt leading to spasms in my legs.  A competitor running beside me not only took the time to guide me from his years of experience but also helped me dig deep within myself and pacing me to the finish line.

The amazing staff from Kelowna Cycle who always take the time to guide me and share little secrets with me for race day preparation, thanks Tannille, and their encouraging words “just go do it and have fun”, thanks Mike.

One of my favorite moments was my first race ever.  I had never set up a transition area before.  As I was obviously fumbling my way through it an amazing girl came over and said “I can help you with this, both my parents are triathletes.”  Yes, she was 11 years old and shared the secrets she had learned from her parents.  I think she even passed me that day at the races.

I would like to take the time to thank all the volunteers, organizers, directors, sponsors and racers for showing me not only the love for this sport but also why the Apple Triathlon is the most respected in all of Canada.

Looking forward to experiencing the Penticton Ironman Canada this weekend.  Good luck to all the racers.

Fred Sarkari

When You Feel Like Giving Up

This man has more courage in his heart in these 3 minutes than most of us do in a lifetime.

There are times when we hit the ground so hard that we wonder if we will ever have the courage to get back up again.  After watching this 3 minute video, I cannot wait to fall once again just so I can get back up and live.

Look around you, truly look with all your heart and soul, and know that no matter what our situation or circumstance in life is – we are truly blessed.

Hold on to your precious moments, tell your spouse how much you truly appreciate them, hold your children tight and whisper in their ears your love for them, touch the hearts and souls of all those that cross your path and most importantly look in the mirror and know you are special and you have within you greatness that is just waiting to be reveled into this world.

We are capable of so much more.

The Image Looked At Me And Said “You Are Beautiful The Way You Are.”

I was taking a break having a coffee and reading a book at Good Earth in beautiful Kelowna.

That is where I saw a sight that put a tear in my eye.

A mother telling her child about the importance of always taking the time to look pretty before you walk out of the house.

Imagine the difference in the child

if she was taught the importance of always

trusting and believing in herself

before leaving the house.

We all face those times where we doubt ourselves, our image onto others or just who we are trying to be and grow into.

Everywhere you turn you see images and opinions of what society concludes as beautiful and worthy.

Have you ever really looked at yourself in the mirror?

Looked at who you really are as a person and an individual?  Do not just take a glance, what you are wearing, your hair style, the color of your skin or your fake tan.  Truly look at YOU.  Look at the reflection in the mirror long enough till you see within yourself and than ask yourself who you see.

I know most will role their eyes at this task, but I tell you this.  The ones that come up with any reason why they are not going to do it all comes down to the one main and real reason why not?

We are scared to know who we truly are

There is no hype clothing, hair style, look, color, what you drive, where you live or your chosen profession that can put value to your soul.

Stare at yourself in the mirror and just know that you are beautiful just the way you were created.  There is no end to your beauty in your eyes and those that cross your path when you start believing in yourself.

Live YOUR life to the fullest.

Live YOUR life for YOU and not others.

Fred sarkari

The Foundation Of A Powerful Presentation

“Present with the passion of a child and your audience will transform them selves

from their seats to the playground.”

Fred Sarkari

(Coming Soon)

Just like with any successful communication, when you deliver a presentation you should keep two variables in mind:

• First, what is the message that you as a speaker are trying to relay?

• Second, does your message relate to the audience?

The goal of presenting should always be to communicate information in a way that connects with your audience. Your presentation should not just engage an audience verbally and visually, but more importantly emotionally as well.

Two critical aspects every presenter should never lose sight of:

1. Best way for an audience to learn is to link the message to an emotion.

2. People will never forget how you make them feel.

Any one can become a powerful presenter if they understand the key components of successful presentations and how to implement them based on their individual style.

Fred Sarkari

I Experienced The 7 Wonders Of The World In One Weekend

I had the opportunity to travel around the world in 3 days, living and feeling the  7 Wonders of The World.

What did you do this weekend? he he

An hour ago I just finished having a conversation with a friend of mine about the 7 Wonders of the World.  She was trying to remember what they were as one of her dreams is to visit them all in her life time.

How did I manage to see the 7 Wonders in just 3 days?

When she was going through the list I could not help but to notice that my mind kept journeying to a different list.

We have these great dreams of seeing parts of the world, experiencing events, achieving goals, creating financial success…

In doing so, how easily we lose sight of the true 7 Wonders of the World.

I remember a child, when asked the same question answered by stating that the 7 Wonders of the world are:

1. To See

Do we take the time to see the beauty around us?  Or are we so focused on reaching the next moment in life?  This Long-Weekend I took in the beauty of the lake and the mountains while relaxing on the boat.   When you stare at the lake long enough  you can see every drop of water.

2. To Hear

Going for a run, I remember just opening my mind to what ever wanted to come in.  In time all the noise of the world had deafened and all I could hear are the beautiful sounds of the birds.

3. To Touch

Our skin is the largest organ in the body.  I was fortunate enough to spend time with close friends.  A genuine hug from your friends can last a life time within you.

4. To Taste

Well those that know me, know I saver every bite of food, dance during every chew.  I do not eat for the sake to eating I eat cause I love to taste and experience the food.  Nothing better than a barbeque with close friends.

5. To Feel

We feel something every second of the day.  Unfortunately most people are not aware of those moments.  They only stop to feel when it is an intense emotion.  Being aware of all the moments during the weekend reminded me of all the great emotions that we go through on a daily basis.

6. To Laugh

The best way to stay young is to laugh, laugh more and than laugh even more.

7. To Love

If more people had the courage to love and be loved this world would be a different place.

I want to thank all those that helped me experience the 7 Wonders of The World this long-weekend.  Most people spend a life time traveling the world in order to experience them, meanwhile they are right in our own backyards.

Cherish the moments

Fred Sarkari

The Greatest Teacher In Life? How Do We Learn?

We are all in the state of struggle.  Struggle to learn, to become aware, revolt, find who we are, what is our purpose?

We are at times intelligent with our words that we not only give the perception that we have all the answers but more so we start believing the lie that we do.

As soon as our state of mind comes to believe such a lie, we have at that critical moment, stopped learning and growing as a person.

Do you know what it means to be aware? To learn?

The only time we are learning is when our minds are innocently open, aware, to the moments in life that face us at that point in time.

I have been asked many times, “who is your mentor your guru in life?”

There is no one teacher or guru that we learn from.  Once we put another person in that category, we have shut our minds to the greatest teacher in life; life moments them selves.

The greatest teachers in life are the birds, plants, the smile of a persons face, the laughter of a child, the pain of a loved one, the sadness of a stranger.

If you make life your teacher than you will always be in a state of constant learning.

I ask you this, what experiences in life has given you the greatest awareness and learning?

Fred sarkari

James Larter – Rest in Peace

JAMES LARTER

March 4th 1976 – July 6 2009

The times I had the pleasure of meeting James it was evident that he was a gift to all those that were in his life.

RIP James, your spirit will live within all of us.

Statement by John Larter, father of James Larter

“My family and I stand in the centre of that dark nightmare that all of us with children have hidden in the back of our minds. It is even more painful than I feared. Our beautiful son was our very heartbeat and breath. We stood around his bed in the hospital where he was laying covered in knife wounds and slashes, too many stitches to number. There were tubes attached to him everywhere bringing him blood and helping him to breathe and cling to life. His 12-year-old daughter was kneeling on a chair beside him with her head resting on his broad shoulder. Her tears had soaked his hospital gown and made a perfect circle where she lay. In that safe and familiar place on her dad’s shoulder she somehow fell asleep. It was then we turned off the respirator, watched our son’s face turn pale as he slipped away from us while his little girl slept. As I stood there, I thought, if the young man who did this to my son and her daddy could stand alongside me and watch all this unfold, he would be so ashamed that the knife would fall from his hand and he would never use one again. And I would gladly forgive him.”

These Decisions and Choices Will Always Control Our Lives.

A day does not go by where we are not in conflict with two of the most powerful influencers in our life.  Every decision we make is influenced at some level by these two living “Organs”.

I was recently asked a very critical question:

“So which is more important to pay attention too your heart or head?”

We make decisions in life based on our ‘heads’ we make choices in life based on our hearts.

Decisions can be logically explained by anyone whether they are in that situation or not.

Choices made from the heart cannot always be logically explained nor make sense in most cases – they are just there to embrace.

As much as I believe great things come to those who wait. The other side, which I believe in more important but not necessarily lived by as much by most:

Great things are lost for those who do not embrace what is in their hearts at that moment in time – those are choices made from the heart.

Those are choices that have a high element of fear and a high price to pay.  In most cases that high price is not monetary but more so a way of life.  A person willing to swim against the current of normality and willing to let go the security in order to chase a dream.

You hear a lot of people say, I know deep inside I am meant for more.  I am different, there is a deep rooted purpose in my life that I can feel inside of me.

Let me clarify the obvious.  Every single person on this earth belongs within the above sentence.  The choices that we make at that point in time will determine what we will be saying and living years down the road.

These choices are not easy to make, if they were than everyone would be living their dreams instead of living vicariously through others.

That is why we as humans rely on decisions instead of living our life through heart felt choices.

There will always be a reason why we cannot, always.  You only need one reason to grasp on to that dream and never let go.

Start chasing your dreams, your passions in life.  Be willing to put it all on stake, be willing to lose it all in life for that one chance of living your legacy.

I would love to hear from people that have payed a price towards their dream.   Also ones that are paying a price as we speak.

Remember when you started chasing your dream, you were looking for anything or anyone to encourage you.  Your story, even if its one line, will touch the hearts of many reading this post.

Fred Sarkari

Why Did I Fall A Sleep After Eating? What Is Considered a Healthy Meal?

Oh my god! Can it get any more confusing?  Eat this, don’t eat that, carb’s give you energy but they shoot your insulin level up, meat is bad for you, meat is good for you, eat eggs, eggs are bad for you.  What the (*&%^&^*)*(, no wonder people fall off the “eating well” wagon.

This fast paced world we have created along with all the fast foods on every block makes it very easy to indulge in our cravings.  

Obesity has reached epidemic proportions globally, with more than 1 billion adults overweight – at least 300 million of them clinically obese.  

Those that have ever started in the path of eating healthy know that we start with enough enthusiasm that can move an army of people around us.  And most, within a week go back to their old habits of eating.  

Main Reason: We are confused with all the clutter of information making it too difficult to follow through. 

 

A few days ago I ate what I thought was healthy for me.  Next thing I knew the walk from the kitchen to my bedroom felt like I ran a marathon and 1.5 hours later I woke up from my sleep.   The food I ate was healthy but what I did not realize is that my body did not just want healthy food it needed the right combination of foods. 

I called my good friend Andrea Thatcher from BodySenseWelleness.ca, an expert in nutrition and fitness.

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I asked Andrea, “Why did I feel like I wanted to fall a sleep after a healthy meal?”  Here was her response:

When we eat protien foods, carbohydrate foods and fat foods that are not in the correct ratio for our own body and our activity level, the body will send messages to teach us not to do that again.  We often don’t pay attention to these messages, and disregard them because we are told certain foods are healthy for us. We continue to eat what we are told is healthy for us, and continue to receive these negative messages from the body  These signals will come in the form of food cravings, headaches, anxiety, feeling tired or lethargic, feeling full but still hungry, feeling jittery, or feeling mentally slow to name a few.
 
It is best to pay attention to what your body is telling you as your body simply does not lie, or tell jokes or try to fool you. It is sending these messages to encourage you to stop doing what is causing harm – even if you have been told these foods are healthy.  For example, some will have negative responses to meat, others will have a positive response. It is unrealistic to suggest that all meat is all bad for all people all the time. 
 
When you eat in the right ratio you are left feeling happy, with no cravings, clear mental focus, good energy levels and will last comforatably for 2-4 hours between eating. 

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Wow! makes so much sense.  At times we do makes things too complicated in our lives.  Most of us know what foods are over all considered good.  

The most important question to ask yourself is:  How does it make you feel?

I suggest everyone to do what Andrea put me through, a metabolic testing.  It tells you what kinds of food your body favors.  Are you more of a Carb or a Protein person.

 

Keep 2 things in mind as you start this journey.

1. How did it make me feel?

2. Test test test test – see how you respond to different foods and combinations of it. Keep your mind open as you are unique just like your DNA. One of a kind – so the only real way to know is to try it out and refine for the next time.

 

Stay healthy

Fred Sarkari

I Survived My First Triathlon- Mr. T’s Turtle Head Triathlon

Mr. T’s Turtle Head Triathlon.  This was one of the most humbling experiences for me in a very long time.  It was  a great adventure from drinking margaritas the day before to getting 3 hours of sleep the night prior.  Thinking I was going to drown at one point, heavy rain fall prior to the race, losing my swimming goggles 30 min. prior to start time, cramp from eating too big of a breakfast… well you get the point.

The most inspiring part of it all was to see people of all ages and athletic abilities.  People did what they had to to start and finish the race.  They showed up, which is more than what most people can ever say and the gravy was that they finished no matter how deep they had to dig within.

When was the last time you dug deep within yourself to finish something you started?

It was great to see entire family participating together.  Husband, wife and children. These little 10 year olds were so adorable.  I was telling my niece and she is all excited to do one together one day.  You cannot imagine the joy within to hear that.

There was a lady that got a flat in the beginning of the bike route and was not equipped to fix her flat, so another individual gave her his rim from his spare bike so she can continue the race.

How often do we go out of our way to help complete strangers reach their goals?  truly wanting to help others with nothing expected in return.

Leading up to the event it seemed like I did everything to sabotage my success.  From drinking the day before to eating bad and lack of sleep night prior to the race.  Oh yes, forgot the most critical part – finding every excuse not to train. Doubt will always be a variable in the path to our success.  That cannot be avoided, what you do from that point on will determine your outcome.  I let that doubt creep in and in turn did everything possible to be able to have my excuse ready just incase I did not finish the race or had a bad standing.

In the end, as long as you are never willing to give up you can accomplish anything you desire.  Of course there is always a more effective way of doing it. p.s. avoid margaritas the day before.

I ask you this, what was the last vision, hope, dream that you walked away from or keep putting off due to doubt?

This was  a lot more difficult than I expected it to be.  When times get though along the way look for inspiration in the right places and just keep moving forward.  I saw so many people that had less athletic ability than I did yet they just kept moving forward.

Everyday, do something to inspire yourself and just keep moving forward.

How often in life do we quit on our dreams, big or small, at the last minute. That critical time of decision and we find a reason to walk away.  Let me tell you, I was ready to go home when I was standing there at the start line in front of the lake for the beginning of the swim.

When you feel like quitting, just do it anyways.  That is how simple it really is, just do it anyways.  keep moving forward, one inch at a time.

There was a point in the swim that I was thinking, “what the heck am I doing here?”  Not even half way through the swim, I feared, “will I be able to finish this?”  The answer is always yes.

It is amazing how much we have within ourselves.  Never lose sight of that belief.

Be prepared to let all strategy and tactic go out the door.  A month prior to this I cut my foot open and ever since I made every excuse not to do any training.  Prior to the last month, I had gone to the pool to work on my technique and I must say, I was very impressed with my new swimming technique.  I truly believed I would glide through that water during the race.

What we have to realize is that in the real world our strategy, tactics, techniques all can go down the drain.  As soon as I hit the lake all technique vanished, it was swim to survive mode.

In the end, you do what you need to do in order to finish what you started, even if it does not unfold the way you expected it to.

Running through the finish line was all worth it.  The sense of accomplishment will always over power the price we have to pay to get there.

To everyone that stood by me, thank you so very much.  Sarah D., thank you for your weekly calls to check in on me and your enthusiasm and belief even though I was not training.  Derrick Shirley, a man you did his first triathlon at 350 pounds, you are an inspiration.  Sarah Hart, thank you so much for waking up at 4 am to come to the race as my support.

The list goes on and on and that my friends is the beauty of this sport.

Fred sarkari

Doing The Right Thing Even When it is Not the Easiest

“Should I do the right thing? No one will ever know if I didn’t.  Is it really worth it? Does anyone really care?”

 

These are the questions we ask ourselves everyday for the little moments that cross our path.  Unfortunately there comes a time in most peoples lives that they even stop asking them selves these questions and in turn take the path of least resistance.

 

Life is not about doing the easy things, it is about standing up and doing the right things.  No matter how big or small, no matter if no one will ever know.

 

If you have ever seen the movie Radio with Cuba Gooding Jr and Ed Harris, it teaches us the lesson of standing up to what is right even when others will resist.  In fact it is more critical to do so when others resist.  

In the movie the Coach, Ed Harris,  goes out of his way to help a student that is mentally challenged.

 

The coach stood up for what was right, not what was easy to do.  One part of the movie, the Principle ask him, “why do you do it?” The coach answered, “It just seems like the right thing to do.”

 

There are a lot of right things to do does not mean people always do it.

More reason for us to do what we know is the right thing to do.  Right thing is hardly ever the easy thing.  Unfortunately at times it feels like not many are doing the right thing when it is not easy to do so. 

Have the courage to swim against the current.  Stand up for the right things in life.  No matter how small or insignificant they seem.  

 

Fred Sarkari

Psychology Behind Making Decisions is Like Women Putting on Make Up.

Why do women put on make up everyday even though they do not like the process?

I had some friends over from out of town last weekend.  One evening prior to going out one of the ladies was putting on make up, but during the entire time she was complaining about how she did not like the process of putting on make up everyday.

Why do we take the time to do the things we so clearly do not enjoying doing?

The answer is very simple, be it in our personal lives, our relationships, business, clients, the decisions we make on a daily basis.  Everything that we do is driven by two variables:

Pleasure and Pain 

Even though most women dislike the process of putting on make up (pain), feeling good (pleasure) after the fact over rides the frustration and pain of doing so.

People do not buy the best product, they buy the ones that is associated with the most pleasure and reduce pain.

The most impactful marketing is always linked to pleasure and pain. 

AT&T commercial:

Poor lady: “my son has not called me.” (pain) 

Than they show the son calling.  (pleasure)

Credit card commercial:

Father gets a heart attach. (pain)

Credit card pays for flight. (pleasure)

 

Always keep in mind when interacting with others, are you instilling pleasure or pain within your communication?

 

Fred Sarkari

Life Lessons From The Beauty of A Child’s Mind

She send me a message that said, “Thank you for a great afternoon, we will remember it for a long time to come.”

 

I had a small house warming yesterday and it was the perfect day. A beautiful sunny day, almost 30 deg. cel.  What made it perfect was being surrounded by great people as we all sat on the veranda, over eating and having a few drinks.

 

When I received that message above, it reminded me of how some events in our life gets etched into our memory for a long time.  These events consist of how we were treated, good or bad.

It took me back to a precious moment with my nephew.  

How he described the moment with 3 words.  She loved me.

My mom and I were trying to remember a persons name we had met at a party.  We asked my 8 year old nephew if he remembered her and her name.

His first remark was she loved me and he walked away.  After a belly full of laughter I asked him if he remembered her name and he said no, but she loved me.

The beauty of a childs mind.  All he remembered and cared to remember is how she made him feel in the few moments that they shared together.

In our busy lives, when we share those few snapshot moments with people, be it in our personal and professional lives or strangers; do we take the time to leave behind an emotion they can feel good about?

people make decisions in their lives based on emotions.  These emotions are based on their past experiences.

Therefore, the most important questions you can ask yourself after every shared moment is;

“What emotions did I leave behind?”

Fred Sarkari

A Big Mac is Fueling My Body To Re-Generate My Cells.

I was asked this question the other day by Andrea Thatcher, a fitness and health consultant.  Is your eyeball made out of a McDonald Big Mac or a Certified Organic food?

 

Andrea went to explain the complexity of our cellular regeneration in the most simplest terms:

When you cut your hand, do you need to do anything to make that cut heal? No, the body will heal that cut for you, and you don’t have to do a thing.
With that in mind, we need to ask why does the cut heal?  Well, it heals because the body is in a constant state of cellular regeneration.

We produce hair, nails, skin etc as the body repairs and rebuilds itself, and we don’t need to do anything to make this happen.

 

With that in mind, we need to ask what is fueling the body to regenerate all cells?

When you drive your $75000 car through the McDonalds Drive through, remember, that Big Mac could become your eye ball tomorrow…

 

Wouldn’t you rather a Certified Organic, all natural apple or steak regenerate your eyeball?

Andrea Thatcher
www.bodysensewellness.ca <http://www.bodysensewellness.ca>

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3 Choices we make on a daily basis that impact who we become from the inside out:

ASSOCIATION: One of parents greatest fears is their children associating with the ‘wrong crowd’ as we know that they are a product of their environment.  Always be aware of who you associate with on a regular basis.

 

FEED THE MIND: We live in a negative environment.  Just like we take 20 min. a day to shower ourselves clean.  It is as critical to take 20 min. a day to inject positive thoughts into our mind.

 

REGENERATE YOUR BODY: Make sure your eyeball is not made out of greasy, unhealthy fast food.

 

Fred Sarkari

How To Raise Happy and Balanced Children. 3 Things Every Parent Should Know.

Whether you are a future or an existing parent, we always wonder how effective of a job we are doing? Are we bringing up the leaders of tomorrow?  will my child live a happy life?  will they go down the wrong path? will they impact this world in a positive way? 

 

How can we protect our children in this negative and dangerous world that we live in?  First and for most we need to change the way we look at this world and the people in it. Than and only than will the world that we look at will change for the better.  

 

There is more than enough goodness in this world to over power the negative.

 

The only true way to protect our children in the real world is to teach them how to protect themselves. How to protect their minds and values.

 

 

I asked a great friend and colleague of mine if she can share some insight when it comes to raising balanced happy children.

 

I did not ask Anita her opinion because she is a phenomenal counselor and coach.  More so, if anyone has had the pleasure of meeting her two daughters, they understand why the world needs to know what her secrets are in raising happy balanced children.

 

 

 

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ANITA SINGH:

 

I am honored to shared my thoughts with Fred’s readers.

 

With so much to say “where do I begin?”.  The hard part will be to keep it short as there is so much to share.  

 

I’ve tried to view my honor as a mother as a journey to not only teach and guide my daughters (aged 8 and 6) as children but to also learn from them and be be guided by them. 

 

No love can be greater than what we as parents feel for our children. So many times we view our role as parents as having the upperhand or “control” of our child, their well being, physically growth, emotionally, academically, spiritually. 

 

Listen to their innocence: We forget at times to simply just listen to their innocent ideas. Its that innocence that can keep us guided and on track to what is “good” and what truely “matters” to them.

 

Respect them: By showing them that we respect their ideas we instill a confidence, respect and security in them. Then they will have the confidence to truly feel and believe that this time spent together really matters. 

 

Get to their level: The simplest things are all that matters.  At least once a day, take the time to look into your child’s eyes at their level when they speak to us.  

 

When fred asked me to share, I should have thought “where do I end….”

 

 

Anita Singh, BSW, RSW.

Social worker, life-relationship and parent coach. 

 

——–

 

The question I ask you as parents is:

 

If all you did different, consistently, with your children are the 3 above points would you create a stronger bond with them?

 

All you parents out there, we are all open to more advice of what has worked for you.

 

 

If we are to teach real peace in this world,

and if we are to carry a real war against war,

we shall have to begin with the children.

                               Mahatma Ghandhi

 

Fred Sarkari

She Asked Me The Most Critical Question Linked To My Thoughts and Actions

We have all experienced those moments in our lives.  The moment that freezes all of reality in front of us, everything we thought we knew and understood about ourselves, the essence of our awareness.

When she asked me that critical question, it was like I was caught in a big lie trying to muffle my way thorough but the right words just could not be found.  I felt like a jumping bean searching from one answer to another.

This very simple question was asked to me in an in-depth conversation:  

Insightful Lady: Fred, what do you cherish in your life?

Fred: Stumbling from one word to the next searching for an answer.  Gasping for air my reply was “can you clarify what you mean, in what aspect of life?”

Insightful Lady: Within your belief system in life.  What part of your belief system do you cherish?

Fred: Thought for a bit and the answer came to me.  

What an enlightening discovery as it occurred to me that:

 

The foundation of your belief system in life is the driving force of your thoughts and actions.

 

What you will come to realize is that the very thing, your belief system, that you try to live your life  around will provide you with the answers to YOU as a person.  

• How we react and respond to our relationships.
• The depth of our relationships.
• Our ability to trust.
• Our ability to love.
• Our ability to give and receive…

 

I forward this very question to you: Hope you have the courage to look within yourself to answer this.

What do you cherish within your belief system?

 

Once you answer this hold on for the ride of your life.  

 

Would love to hear the first few things that came to your mind?

 

Fred Sarkari

Little Birds Will Always Lose Fortunes in this Market.

I just got lectured by a little bird.

We were sitting on the patio on a beautiful day in Scottsdale Arizona having lunch.  Actually it was about 104 deg. but  the water misters were right above us so it felt like the perfect day.

During the end of our lunch we started noticing a few little birds pacing around our table.  One more pint of beer and I would probably be writing that they were talking to us.

When I threw a bread crumb to the curb a little birdie grabbed the crumb by its peak and held on to it with its dear life.  The surprising part was that it did not relish in its new found gift but instead kept pacing right in front of us.  

The bird kept pacing in search for more potential crumbs to be dropped on the ground, wanting more even though the piece it had was not even finished.  

 

 

How reflective is that of us humans, greedy greedy greedy.  No matter how much we have, even when we are blessed by abundance, we want more and in turn lose sight of what we have right in front of us. 

Its like the market boom we had prior to the drop in the housing market.  I met clients that had made close to 100% on their property.  The only reason they held on to it is the potential to make another 20%.  Inturn some of them lost majority of their profits.  

If we are not careful it will never be enough: The new car, the new house, new clothes, next toy, reacting to every phone call…

We need to be aware of what we have, the gifts we are fortunate to receive, the friends, family, children etc.  

 

When we focus so much on wanting more we lose sight of the beauty we already have right in front of us.

So I ask you, over the long weekend what specifically did you cherish in your life?

 

Fred Sarkari

I Did My First Duathlon and I Got Disqualified.

I am so mentally and physically exhausted.  How in the world do they do it?  I have just been humbled by all ages, genders and sizes as they passed right by me.

I did my very first duathlon, run – bike – run, and what a whirlwind of emotions from the night before to hours after the race.

Two days prior I started feeling a little under the weather.  It almost got the better of me until I got control of my mindset.  I do not mean it got the better of me as I got too sick.  In fact it was just lingering within me.  It almost got the better of my state of mind, an easy way out of not following through.

 

How often do we come so close to starting what we desire

and at the last minute we find a small insignificant reason to quit on ourselves.

 

When I arrived at the race location, I felt like I was walking into a speech to thousands of people with a topic I knew nothing about.   All the racers were showing up with their professional triathlon bikes and gear.  They looked so focused and determined with their pre-race rituals and stretches.  I was once again ready to quit.  Nothing a bit of self-affirmation talk couldn’t fix.

Turned out that the people were very friendly and helpful in guiding me on my first event.  I remember one woman taking the time to give me some guidance and in the end of the race I see her announced as having the best time in the women category. 

 

How often in our business and lives do we fear and have a mis perception of the successful? 

Change the way we think about people and the people we think about will change. 

 

What a great feeling when the bell goes off to start the race.  The first leg of the race, the run, I took it a little easy to conserve energy.  I did feel a little nauseous as my body was still recuperating.  Luckily it balanced it self and did not get any worse.

Now the fun begins, my very first transition from the run to the bike.  It went pretty well except of the fact that I got disqualified.

I got overwhelmed and forgot a very critical safety rule that was made very clear to us.  You are not allowed to touch your bike until you clip your helmet on.  Not only did not not clip it on, I completely forgot to wear it.

The biking it self, Wow! Not only was I exhausted from the unexpected wind, (not being in shape might have something to do with it)  but more so the re-visit of some of my old injuries screaming for help.  

Honestly I could not wait to get off the bike.  Here is where the true adventure started, the major dehydration cramp in my leg reminded me that I forgot to rehydrate after my steam room the night before.

Now for the last transition, bike to the run again.  One eight of the way into the run the dehydration in my leg kicked in full force, pulsating and cramping my leg to a hobble.

Half way through the run my knee on the other leg went on strike, forcing me to somehow hobble on both legs.

What a humbling experience, one runner after another passing me by as I hobbled and walked the rest of the way.  The amazing part was the support from every runner that passed me, cheering me on not to give up.  

Be it a duathlon, an Ironman or a business venture, the following are a few lessons to keep in the forefront of your mind.

Dig Deep: As a lot of the runners said as they ran by me, “dig deep – you are just around the corner”.  There will always be a million reasons to give up.  Focus on the one that gives you a reason to keep moving forward.

One Inch at a Time: I wish I could go from the couch to an Ironman in a month.  Success takes time to build one inch at a time.  

Surround Yourself with Success:   Find the successful in what you want to achieve and gravitate towards them.  They not only have the knowledge and experience to guide you but they are also very willing to help.  And if you come across the few that want to hold on to their time and experience, smile and move on to the next.

Focus on Your Purpose: My purpose for doing this race kept me going through any circumstance it threw at me.

Take accountability: In the end of the race, people came up to me and said I should not have been disqualified.  My response was “yes I should have been.”  Not only was it a critical safety rule, but it was also made very clear numerous times.  Anyone can push blame, take accountability for your actions.  

The most important thing I learned.   I am not 20 anymore, I cannot just decide to do stuff like this anymore.  I actually have to put the time in to train.  AH!

Fred Sarkari

How To Implement My Plan In My Business? 6 Critical Principles.

Reactive people work at 25% of their efficiency but work hard.  Most people are not effective at implementing because most people are unaware of what to implement.  Show me what to do and I will do it…

Zubin from Athena Hair and Laser asked a very critical question on one of the post.  It would be valuable to create a post for all the other readers.

ZUBINS QUESTION:

Fred:
Your last blog makes a lot of sense but what are the 1st steps I need to take after I have decided what to do. Do you recommend a process of how to implement my plan?

——–

Zubin, if you are asking about the actual steps of implementing, than you have hit on a very critical point.

Obviously that would be different for everyone based on their personality, strengths and the project itself.

Few principles to keep in mind:

1. Most people  can not implement effectively as they are unsure what and how to implement.

2. In order to have clarity on what needs to be implemented, one needs to have a clear awareness on what is it that they are trying to accomplish?

3. When we do not have this clarity, we end up scattering and just being overly busy in our daily activities.

4. Once you know what you are trying to accomplish.  Create a very basic priority list.
This consists of 6-8 most valuable and profitable activities in your business.

5. Now go and spend 80% of your daily time implementing the 6-8 activities.

6. Delegate the rest.

Just like this post, keep it simple.

Fred Sarkari