James Larter – Rest in Peace

JAMES LARTER

March 4th 1976 – July 6 2009

The times I had the pleasure of meeting James it was evident that he was a gift to all those that were in his life.

RIP James, your spirit will live within all of us.

Statement by John Larter, father of James Larter

“My family and I stand in the centre of that dark nightmare that all of us with children have hidden in the back of our minds. It is even more painful than I feared. Our beautiful son was our very heartbeat and breath. We stood around his bed in the hospital where he was laying covered in knife wounds and slashes, too many stitches to number. There were tubes attached to him everywhere bringing him blood and helping him to breathe and cling to life. His 12-year-old daughter was kneeling on a chair beside him with her head resting on his broad shoulder. Her tears had soaked his hospital gown and made a perfect circle where she lay. In that safe and familiar place on her dad’s shoulder she somehow fell asleep. It was then we turned off the respirator, watched our son’s face turn pale as he slipped away from us while his little girl slept. As I stood there, I thought, if the young man who did this to my son and her daddy could stand alongside me and watch all this unfold, he would be so ashamed that the knife would fall from his hand and he would never use one again. And I would gladly forgive him.”

These Decisions and Choices Will Always Control Our Lives.

A day does not go by where we are not in conflict with two of the most powerful influencers in our life.  Every decision we make is influenced at some level by these two living “Organs”.

I was recently asked a very critical question:

“So which is more important to pay attention too your heart or head?”

We make decisions in life based on our ‘heads’ we make choices in life based on our hearts.

Decisions can be logically explained by anyone whether they are in that situation or not.

Choices made from the heart cannot always be logically explained nor make sense in most cases – they are just there to embrace.

As much as I believe great things come to those who wait. The other side, which I believe in more important but not necessarily lived by as much by most:

Great things are lost for those who do not embrace what is in their hearts at that moment in time – those are choices made from the heart.

Those are choices that have a high element of fear and a high price to pay.  In most cases that high price is not monetary but more so a way of life.  A person willing to swim against the current of normality and willing to let go the security in order to chase a dream.

You hear a lot of people say, I know deep inside I am meant for more.  I am different, there is a deep rooted purpose in my life that I can feel inside of me.

Let me clarify the obvious.  Every single person on this earth belongs within the above sentence.  The choices that we make at that point in time will determine what we will be saying and living years down the road.

These choices are not easy to make, if they were than everyone would be living their dreams instead of living vicariously through others.

That is why we as humans rely on decisions instead of living our life through heart felt choices.

There will always be a reason why we cannot, always.  You only need one reason to grasp on to that dream and never let go.

Start chasing your dreams, your passions in life.  Be willing to put it all on stake, be willing to lose it all in life for that one chance of living your legacy.

I would love to hear from people that have payed a price towards their dream.   Also ones that are paying a price as we speak.

Remember when you started chasing your dream, you were looking for anything or anyone to encourage you.  Your story, even if its one line, will touch the hearts of many reading this post.

Fred Sarkari

Why Did I Fall A Sleep After Eating? What Is Considered a Healthy Meal?

Oh my god! Can it get any more confusing?  Eat this, don’t eat that, carb’s give you energy but they shoot your insulin level up, meat is bad for you, meat is good for you, eat eggs, eggs are bad for you.  What the (*&%^&^*)*(, no wonder people fall off the “eating well” wagon.

This fast paced world we have created along with all the fast foods on every block makes it very easy to indulge in our cravings.  

Obesity has reached epidemic proportions globally, with more than 1 billion adults overweight – at least 300 million of them clinically obese.  

Those that have ever started in the path of eating healthy know that we start with enough enthusiasm that can move an army of people around us.  And most, within a week go back to their old habits of eating.  

Main Reason: We are confused with all the clutter of information making it too difficult to follow through. 

 

A few days ago I ate what I thought was healthy for me.  Next thing I knew the walk from the kitchen to my bedroom felt like I ran a marathon and 1.5 hours later I woke up from my sleep.   The food I ate was healthy but what I did not realize is that my body did not just want healthy food it needed the right combination of foods. 

I called my good friend Andrea Thatcher from BodySenseWelleness.ca, an expert in nutrition and fitness.

—

I asked Andrea, “Why did I feel like I wanted to fall a sleep after a healthy meal?”  Here was her response:

When we eat protien foods, carbohydrate foods and fat foods that are not in the correct ratio for our own body and our activity level, the body will send messages to teach us not to do that again.  We often don’t pay attention to these messages, and disregard them because we are told certain foods are healthy for us. We continue to eat what we are told is healthy for us, and continue to receive these negative messages from the body  These signals will come in the form of food cravings, headaches, anxiety, feeling tired or lethargic, feeling full but still hungry, feeling jittery, or feeling mentally slow to name a few.
 
It is best to pay attention to what your body is telling you as your body simply does not lie, or tell jokes or try to fool you. It is sending these messages to encourage you to stop doing what is causing harm – even if you have been told these foods are healthy.  For example, some will have negative responses to meat, others will have a positive response. It is unrealistic to suggest that all meat is all bad for all people all the time. 
 
When you eat in the right ratio you are left feeling happy, with no cravings, clear mental focus, good energy levels and will last comforatably for 2-4 hours between eating. 

—

Wow! makes so much sense.  At times we do makes things too complicated in our lives.  Most of us know what foods are over all considered good.  

The most important question to ask yourself is:  How does it make you feel?

I suggest everyone to do what Andrea put me through, a metabolic testing.  It tells you what kinds of food your body favors.  Are you more of a Carb or a Protein person.

 

Keep 2 things in mind as you start this journey.

1. How did it make me feel?

2. Test test test test – see how you respond to different foods and combinations of it. Keep your mind open as you are unique just like your DNA. One of a kind – so the only real way to know is to try it out and refine for the next time.

 

Stay healthy

Fred Sarkari

I Survived My First Triathlon- Mr. T’s Turtle Head Triathlon

Mr. T’s Turtle Head Triathlon.  This was one of the most humbling experiences for me in a very long time.  It was  a great adventure from drinking margaritas the day before to getting 3 hours of sleep the night prior.  Thinking I was going to drown at one point, heavy rain fall prior to the race, losing my swimming goggles 30 min. prior to start time, cramp from eating too big of a breakfast… well you get the point.

The most inspiring part of it all was to see people of all ages and athletic abilities.  People did what they had to to start and finish the race.  They showed up, which is more than what most people can ever say and the gravy was that they finished no matter how deep they had to dig within.

When was the last time you dug deep within yourself to finish something you started?

It was great to see entire family participating together.  Husband, wife and children. These little 10 year olds were so adorable.  I was telling my niece and she is all excited to do one together one day.  You cannot imagine the joy within to hear that.

There was a lady that got a flat in the beginning of the bike route and was not equipped to fix her flat, so another individual gave her his rim from his spare bike so she can continue the race.

How often do we go out of our way to help complete strangers reach their goals?  truly wanting to help others with nothing expected in return.

Leading up to the event it seemed like I did everything to sabotage my success.  From drinking the day before to eating bad and lack of sleep night prior to the race.  Oh yes, forgot the most critical part – finding every excuse not to train. Doubt will always be a variable in the path to our success.  That cannot be avoided, what you do from that point on will determine your outcome.  I let that doubt creep in and in turn did everything possible to be able to have my excuse ready just incase I did not finish the race or had a bad standing.

In the end, as long as you are never willing to give up you can accomplish anything you desire.  Of course there is always a more effective way of doing it. p.s. avoid margaritas the day before.

I ask you this, what was the last vision, hope, dream that you walked away from or keep putting off due to doubt?

This was  a lot more difficult than I expected it to be.  When times get though along the way look for inspiration in the right places and just keep moving forward.  I saw so many people that had less athletic ability than I did yet they just kept moving forward.

Everyday, do something to inspire yourself and just keep moving forward.

How often in life do we quit on our dreams, big or small, at the last minute. That critical time of decision and we find a reason to walk away.  Let me tell you, I was ready to go home when I was standing there at the start line in front of the lake for the beginning of the swim.

When you feel like quitting, just do it anyways.  That is how simple it really is, just do it anyways.  keep moving forward, one inch at a time.

There was a point in the swim that I was thinking, “what the heck am I doing here?”  Not even half way through the swim, I feared, “will I be able to finish this?”  The answer is always yes.

It is amazing how much we have within ourselves.  Never lose sight of that belief.

Be prepared to let all strategy and tactic go out the door.  A month prior to this I cut my foot open and ever since I made every excuse not to do any training.  Prior to the last month, I had gone to the pool to work on my technique and I must say, I was very impressed with my new swimming technique.  I truly believed I would glide through that water during the race.

What we have to realize is that in the real world our strategy, tactics, techniques all can go down the drain.  As soon as I hit the lake all technique vanished, it was swim to survive mode.

In the end, you do what you need to do in order to finish what you started, even if it does not unfold the way you expected it to.

Running through the finish line was all worth it.  The sense of accomplishment will always over power the price we have to pay to get there.

To everyone that stood by me, thank you so very much.  Sarah D., thank you for your weekly calls to check in on me and your enthusiasm and belief even though I was not training.  Derrick Shirley, a man you did his first triathlon at 350 pounds, you are an inspiration.  Sarah Hart, thank you so much for waking up at 4 am to come to the race as my support.

The list goes on and on and that my friends is the beauty of this sport.

Fred sarkari

Doing The Right Thing Even When it is Not the Easiest

“Should I do the right thing? No one will ever know if I didn’t.  Is it really worth it? Does anyone really care?”

 

These are the questions we ask ourselves everyday for the little moments that cross our path.  Unfortunately there comes a time in most peoples lives that they even stop asking them selves these questions and in turn take the path of least resistance.

 

Life is not about doing the easy things, it is about standing up and doing the right things.  No matter how big or small, no matter if no one will ever know.

 

If you have ever seen the movie Radio with Cuba Gooding Jr and Ed Harris, it teaches us the lesson of standing up to what is right even when others will resist.  In fact it is more critical to do so when others resist.  

In the movie the Coach, Ed Harris,  goes out of his way to help a student that is mentally challenged.

 

The coach stood up for what was right, not what was easy to do.  One part of the movie, the Principle ask him, “why do you do it?” The coach answered, “It just seems like the right thing to do.”

 

There are a lot of right things to do does not mean people always do it.

More reason for us to do what we know is the right thing to do.  Right thing is hardly ever the easy thing.  Unfortunately at times it feels like not many are doing the right thing when it is not easy to do so. 

Have the courage to swim against the current.  Stand up for the right things in life.  No matter how small or insignificant they seem.  

 

Fred Sarkari

Psychology Behind Making Decisions is Like Women Putting on Make Up.

Why do women put on make up everyday even though they do not like the process?

I had some friends over from out of town last weekend.  One evening prior to going out one of the ladies was putting on make up, but during the entire time she was complaining about how she did not like the process of putting on make up everyday.

Why do we take the time to do the things we so clearly do not enjoying doing?

The answer is very simple, be it in our personal lives, our relationships, business, clients, the decisions we make on a daily basis.  Everything that we do is driven by two variables:

Pleasure and Pain 

Even though most women dislike the process of putting on make up (pain), feeling good (pleasure) after the fact over rides the frustration and pain of doing so.

People do not buy the best product, they buy the ones that is associated with the most pleasure and reduce pain.

The most impactful marketing is always linked to pleasure and pain. 

AT&T commercial:

Poor lady: “my son has not called me.” (pain) 

Than they show the son calling.  (pleasure)

Credit card commercial:

Father gets a heart attach. (pain)

Credit card pays for flight. (pleasure)

 

Always keep in mind when interacting with others, are you instilling pleasure or pain within your communication?

 

Fred Sarkari

Life Lessons From The Beauty of A Child’s Mind

She send me a message that said, “Thank you for a great afternoon, we will remember it for a long time to come.”

 

I had a small house warming yesterday and it was the perfect day. A beautiful sunny day, almost 30 deg. cel.  What made it perfect was being surrounded by great people as we all sat on the veranda, over eating and having a few drinks.

 

When I received that message above, it reminded me of how some events in our life gets etched into our memory for a long time.  These events consist of how we were treated, good or bad.

It took me back to a precious moment with my nephew.  

How he described the moment with 3 words.  She loved me.

My mom and I were trying to remember a persons name we had met at a party.  We asked my 8 year old nephew if he remembered her and her name.

His first remark was she loved me and he walked away.  After a belly full of laughter I asked him if he remembered her name and he said no, but she loved me.

The beauty of a childs mind.  All he remembered and cared to remember is how she made him feel in the few moments that they shared together.

In our busy lives, when we share those few snapshot moments with people, be it in our personal and professional lives or strangers; do we take the time to leave behind an emotion they can feel good about?

people make decisions in their lives based on emotions.  These emotions are based on their past experiences.

Therefore, the most important questions you can ask yourself after every shared moment is;

“What emotions did I leave behind?”

Fred Sarkari

A Big Mac is Fueling My Body To Re-Generate My Cells.

I was asked this question the other day by Andrea Thatcher, a fitness and health consultant.  Is your eyeball made out of a McDonald Big Mac or a Certified Organic food?

 

Andrea went to explain the complexity of our cellular regeneration in the most simplest terms:

When you cut your hand, do you need to do anything to make that cut heal? No, the body will heal that cut for you, and you don’t have to do a thing.
With that in mind, we need to ask why does the cut heal?  Well, it heals because the body is in a constant state of cellular regeneration.

We produce hair, nails, skin etc as the body repairs and rebuilds itself, and we don’t need to do anything to make this happen.

 

With that in mind, we need to ask what is fueling the body to regenerate all cells?

When you drive your $75000 car through the McDonalds Drive through, remember, that Big Mac could become your eye ball tomorrow…

 

Wouldn’t you rather a Certified Organic, all natural apple or steak regenerate your eyeball?

Andrea Thatcher
www.bodysensewellness.ca <http://www.bodysensewellness.ca>

—

3 Choices we make on a daily basis that impact who we become from the inside out:

ASSOCIATION: One of parents greatest fears is their children associating with the ‘wrong crowd’ as we know that they are a product of their environment.  Always be aware of who you associate with on a regular basis.

 

FEED THE MIND: We live in a negative environment.  Just like we take 20 min. a day to shower ourselves clean.  It is as critical to take 20 min. a day to inject positive thoughts into our mind.

 

REGENERATE YOUR BODY: Make sure your eyeball is not made out of greasy, unhealthy fast food.

 

Fred Sarkari

How To Raise Happy and Balanced Children. 3 Things Every Parent Should Know.

Whether you are a future or an existing parent, we always wonder how effective of a job we are doing? Are we bringing up the leaders of tomorrow?  will my child live a happy life?  will they go down the wrong path? will they impact this world in a positive way? 

 

How can we protect our children in this negative and dangerous world that we live in?  First and for most we need to change the way we look at this world and the people in it. Than and only than will the world that we look at will change for the better.  

 

There is more than enough goodness in this world to over power the negative.

 

The only true way to protect our children in the real world is to teach them how to protect themselves. How to protect their minds and values.

 

 

I asked a great friend and colleague of mine if she can share some insight when it comes to raising balanced happy children.

 

I did not ask Anita her opinion because she is a phenomenal counselor and coach.  More so, if anyone has had the pleasure of meeting her two daughters, they understand why the world needs to know what her secrets are in raising happy balanced children.

 

 

 

—–

 

ANITA SINGH:

 

I am honored to shared my thoughts with Fred’s readers.

 

With so much to say “where do I begin?”.  The hard part will be to keep it short as there is so much to share.  

 

I’ve tried to view my honor as a mother as a journey to not only teach and guide my daughters (aged 8 and 6) as children but to also learn from them and be be guided by them. 

 

No love can be greater than what we as parents feel for our children. So many times we view our role as parents as having the upperhand or “control” of our child, their well being, physically growth, emotionally, academically, spiritually. 

 

Listen to their innocence: We forget at times to simply just listen to their innocent ideas. Its that innocence that can keep us guided and on track to what is “good” and what truely “matters” to them.

 

Respect them: By showing them that we respect their ideas we instill a confidence, respect and security in them. Then they will have the confidence to truly feel and believe that this time spent together really matters. 

 

Get to their level: The simplest things are all that matters.  At least once a day, take the time to look into your child’s eyes at their level when they speak to us.  

 

When fred asked me to share, I should have thought “where do I end….”

 

 

Anita Singh, BSW, RSW.

Social worker, life-relationship and parent coach. 

 

——–

 

The question I ask you as parents is:

 

If all you did different, consistently, with your children are the 3 above points would you create a stronger bond with them?

 

All you parents out there, we are all open to more advice of what has worked for you.

 

 

If we are to teach real peace in this world,

and if we are to carry a real war against war,

we shall have to begin with the children.

                               Mahatma Ghandhi

 

Fred Sarkari

She Asked Me The Most Critical Question Linked To My Thoughts and Actions

We have all experienced those moments in our lives.  The moment that freezes all of reality in front of us, everything we thought we knew and understood about ourselves, the essence of our awareness.

When she asked me that critical question, it was like I was caught in a big lie trying to muffle my way thorough but the right words just could not be found.  I felt like a jumping bean searching from one answer to another.

This very simple question was asked to me in an in-depth conversation:  

Insightful Lady: Fred, what do you cherish in your life?

Fred: Stumbling from one word to the next searching for an answer.  Gasping for air my reply was “can you clarify what you mean, in what aspect of life?”

Insightful Lady: Within your belief system in life.  What part of your belief system do you cherish?

Fred: Thought for a bit and the answer came to me.  

What an enlightening discovery as it occurred to me that:

 

The foundation of your belief system in life is the driving force of your thoughts and actions.

 

What you will come to realize is that the very thing, your belief system, that you try to live your life  around will provide you with the answers to YOU as a person.  

• How we react and respond to our relationships.
• The depth of our relationships.
• Our ability to trust.
• Our ability to love.
• Our ability to give and receive…

 

I forward this very question to you: Hope you have the courage to look within yourself to answer this.

What do you cherish within your belief system?

 

Once you answer this hold on for the ride of your life.  

 

Would love to hear the first few things that came to your mind?

 

Fred Sarkari

Little Birds Will Always Lose Fortunes in this Market.

I just got lectured by a little bird.

We were sitting on the patio on a beautiful day in Scottsdale Arizona having lunch.  Actually it was about 104 deg. but  the water misters were right above us so it felt like the perfect day.

During the end of our lunch we started noticing a few little birds pacing around our table.  One more pint of beer and I would probably be writing that they were talking to us.

When I threw a bread crumb to the curb a little birdie grabbed the crumb by its peak and held on to it with its dear life.  The surprising part was that it did not relish in its new found gift but instead kept pacing right in front of us.  

The bird kept pacing in search for more potential crumbs to be dropped on the ground, wanting more even though the piece it had was not even finished.  

 

 

How reflective is that of us humans, greedy greedy greedy.  No matter how much we have, even when we are blessed by abundance, we want more and in turn lose sight of what we have right in front of us. 

Its like the market boom we had prior to the drop in the housing market.  I met clients that had made close to 100% on their property.  The only reason they held on to it is the potential to make another 20%.  Inturn some of them lost majority of their profits.  

If we are not careful it will never be enough: The new car, the new house, new clothes, next toy, reacting to every phone call…

We need to be aware of what we have, the gifts we are fortunate to receive, the friends, family, children etc.  

 

When we focus so much on wanting more we lose sight of the beauty we already have right in front of us.

So I ask you, over the long weekend what specifically did you cherish in your life?

 

Fred Sarkari

I Did My First Duathlon and I Got Disqualified.

I am so mentally and physically exhausted.  How in the world do they do it?  I have just been humbled by all ages, genders and sizes as they passed right by me.

I did my very first duathlon, run – bike – run, and what a whirlwind of emotions from the night before to hours after the race.

Two days prior I started feeling a little under the weather.  It almost got the better of me until I got control of my mindset.  I do not mean it got the better of me as I got too sick.  In fact it was just lingering within me.  It almost got the better of my state of mind, an easy way out of not following through.

 

How often do we come so close to starting what we desire

and at the last minute we find a small insignificant reason to quit on ourselves.

 

When I arrived at the race location, I felt like I was walking into a speech to thousands of people with a topic I knew nothing about.   All the racers were showing up with their professional triathlon bikes and gear.  They looked so focused and determined with their pre-race rituals and stretches.  I was once again ready to quit.  Nothing a bit of self-affirmation talk couldn’t fix.

Turned out that the people were very friendly and helpful in guiding me on my first event.  I remember one woman taking the time to give me some guidance and in the end of the race I see her announced as having the best time in the women category. 

 

How often in our business and lives do we fear and have a mis perception of the successful? 

Change the way we think about people and the people we think about will change. 

 

What a great feeling when the bell goes off to start the race.  The first leg of the race, the run, I took it a little easy to conserve energy.  I did feel a little nauseous as my body was still recuperating.  Luckily it balanced it self and did not get any worse.

Now the fun begins, my very first transition from the run to the bike.  It went pretty well except of the fact that I got disqualified.

I got overwhelmed and forgot a very critical safety rule that was made very clear to us.  You are not allowed to touch your bike until you clip your helmet on.  Not only did not not clip it on, I completely forgot to wear it.

The biking it self, Wow! Not only was I exhausted from the unexpected wind, (not being in shape might have something to do with it)  but more so the re-visit of some of my old injuries screaming for help.  

Honestly I could not wait to get off the bike.  Here is where the true adventure started, the major dehydration cramp in my leg reminded me that I forgot to rehydrate after my steam room the night before.

Now for the last transition, bike to the run again.  One eight of the way into the run the dehydration in my leg kicked in full force, pulsating and cramping my leg to a hobble.

Half way through the run my knee on the other leg went on strike, forcing me to somehow hobble on both legs.

What a humbling experience, one runner after another passing me by as I hobbled and walked the rest of the way.  The amazing part was the support from every runner that passed me, cheering me on not to give up.  

Be it a duathlon, an Ironman or a business venture, the following are a few lessons to keep in the forefront of your mind.

Dig Deep: As a lot of the runners said as they ran by me, “dig deep – you are just around the corner”.  There will always be a million reasons to give up.  Focus on the one that gives you a reason to keep moving forward.

One Inch at a Time: I wish I could go from the couch to an Ironman in a month.  Success takes time to build one inch at a time.  

Surround Yourself with Success:   Find the successful in what you want to achieve and gravitate towards them.  They not only have the knowledge and experience to guide you but they are also very willing to help.  And if you come across the few that want to hold on to their time and experience, smile and move on to the next.

Focus on Your Purpose: My purpose for doing this race kept me going through any circumstance it threw at me.

Take accountability: In the end of the race, people came up to me and said I should not have been disqualified.  My response was “yes I should have been.”  Not only was it a critical safety rule, but it was also made very clear numerous times.  Anyone can push blame, take accountability for your actions.  

The most important thing I learned.   I am not 20 anymore, I cannot just decide to do stuff like this anymore.  I actually have to put the time in to train.  AH!

Fred Sarkari

How To Implement My Plan In My Business? 6 Critical Principles.

Reactive people work at 25% of their efficiency but work hard.  Most people are not effective at implementing because most people are unaware of what to implement.  Show me what to do and I will do it…

Zubin from Athena Hair and Laser asked a very critical question on one of the post.  It would be valuable to create a post for all the other readers.

ZUBINS QUESTION:

Fred:
Your last blog makes a lot of sense but what are the 1st steps I need to take after I have decided what to do. Do you recommend a process of how to implement my plan?

——–

Zubin, if you are asking about the actual steps of implementing, than you have hit on a very critical point.

Obviously that would be different for everyone based on their personality, strengths and the project itself.

Few principles to keep in mind:

1. Most people  can not implement effectively as they are unsure what and how to implement.

2. In order to have clarity on what needs to be implemented, one needs to have a clear awareness on what is it that they are trying to accomplish?

3. When we do not have this clarity, we end up scattering and just being overly busy in our daily activities.

4. Once you know what you are trying to accomplish.  Create a very basic priority list.
This consists of 6-8 most valuable and profitable activities in your business.

5. Now go and spend 80% of your daily time implementing the 6-8 activities.

6. Delegate the rest.

Just like this post, keep it simple.

Fred Sarkari

Kelowna Signature Networking Event – Most Effective Event I Have Attended

How often do we hear knowledge is power.  We are in the information age, knowledge is nothing but clutter in our minds.  Its what we do with the knowledge that makes us effective.

That is the same with networking events, they honestly are nothing but clutter in our lives due to the quantity of them around us.  If we can understand the principles of networking than and only than can we tap into the potential of that knowledge.

Networking is one of the corner stones of building a business.  Networking can be our best friend and our worst enemy at the same time.  If we do not understand the principles of networking it can cost us a lot of our time.

In times like these, uncertainty in the economy, it is more important to be face to face with our clients and potential clients.

The only consistency in this market right now is the unknown, the greatest economist and advisers have said we have no idea what to expect anymore – all logic has been proven wrong.

I was doing a presentation for Investors Group recently and I heard a client say “Only the gods know what the markets will do tomorrow.”

In times of unknown people need to feel secure and connected with those they choose to do business with.

Networking can be extremely powerful and effective to the growth of our business.  Unfortunately most networking events I have attended through out the years I realized that most people are not aware of what true networking entails.

Networking for most gives them a false sense of accomplishment, how many cards can I give out and how many can I collect.  Just because you are busy does not mean you are effective.

We all know those people that enter the room with presence, they carry themselves with confidence and have a look of genuine caring for others.  Those are the same emotions I felt when I went to the Kelowna Signature Business Network event.

Now I know it is one thing to have a feeling but the true question is, are those feelings justified?  This was by far one of the most effective networking events I have ever attended.

No one ran around giving and exchanging business cards.  People were having genuine conversations and building the foundation of a future relationship.  It was not about how many people can I get to in the next 10 min.

I had the opportunity to meet people that without this event I would never have access to.  The people that attended this event do not seem to attend typical networking events.

The owner Darlene R. Brûlé and her staff, physically went around the room connecting beneficial like minded people with each other.  Not only were there influential people but more importantly as a guest we were introduced to each other effectively.

Even though I was at a member event that had guests, through invitation only, they also hold events for members only with top influential people in the community. The connections I made, not just swapping business cards, were priceless to my business.

A big seller was their exclusive portfolio of members, very classy and beneficial.  These portfolios that showcase the members with a full color page go out to businesses in the community.

The event it self, all I can say is wow! It felt like I was at a Gala event.

Darlene, thank you for a great event and I look forward to attending your next event in June.  Rumor has it that it will be at a breath taking location.

Fred Sarkari

MBABC 2009-What Does MBABC Stand For In My Ey

There was only one thing I was disappointed with when attending the Mortgage Brokers Association of British Columbia, MBABC, 2009 Conference.  The fact that it had to come to an end.

I have made some great friendships and relationships speaking in this industry in the past few years.  That can only happen if all parties are genuine about what they do and why they do it, passionate and truly care for all those in the industry.

Brian Peterson as the past president has done a great job.  He has created a stage that only the existing president can walk on and build, Joe Santos. Joe Santos is one of the most respected individuals in the industry and only those that have the pleasure of meeting him will know the true extent of what it takes to be a president of such an association.

MBABC 2009, was a very special conference to me for 3 reasons:

1. The opportunity to speak from the heart to such amazing people. I wish I could find the words of thanks for the respect and genuine connection MBABC and their members have always forwarded to me.  All I can say is I am very thankful.

2. We are all tested during times of difficulty for who we are.  During this market, MBABC, has truly proven their high level of integrity as an association.

3. The deep conversations and real people I had the opportunity to experience.

What MBABC stands for in my eyes?

5 Lessons we should all be aware of.

Authenticity: MBABC directors, staff and members have proven through steady action that they are individuals that live a life of integrity.  Not willing to sell their spirit when life, tough markets, comes knocking on their door.

Love For Each Other: Success is never achieved alone.  It was amazing to see how everyone genuinely wanted to help each other in anyway they can.  Collectively with like minded people anything is possible.

Desire For Personal Growth: MBABC has the highest standards of professionalism.  They not only understand the value of personal growth, they make it a priority to help their members become better people in their professional and personal lives.  With their on going professional days and their respected designation, AMP, supports their strict qualifications of professionalism.

Code Of Ethics: Everyone has a strict code of ethics.  It has the same value as downloading a PHD degree online.  What makes MBABC different is their members protect their code of ethics.  They keep each other accountable as their number one priority is the safety of their members and clients.

Mind Set: Change how you look at the market and the market that you look at will change.  The ones that were at the conference understood the mindset required to not only survive but to thrive in this industry.

Some of my personal highlights:

I had such a phenomenal time presenting to this group.  It was an absolute honor and privilege.

Many of the great conversations like the one with Gary Mauris from Dominion Lending Centres. His message in our conversation together was consistent to the one he gave on stage during the Gala Dinner.  He truly believes that anything is possible and has an intense passion and respect for the industry.

Rob Regan-Pollock – I do not think I have met anyone that so genuinely loves and believes in what he does. It is obvious that Rob’s business is build on his character, truly caring for all those around him.  Very inspiring for me every time we meet.  But the most precious thing about Rob is that he always laughs at my jokes during my presentation.

It was a pleasure to get to know Loren Hawkins through our conversations.  An individual that has the excitement and drive to protect the industry like his own.  It was important for me to see that as it reminded me of how important it is to invest and give back to protect my industry in order to protect what I love to do.

I could go on with an endless list of all the directors and staff. I would like to say thank you for a great conference and all the effort all the directors, staff, sponsors and members invested into making MBABC 2009 another phenomenal trade show.

Fred Sarkari

I Found The Answers to Life

We all go through times where we question all spectrums of our life, from why we do what we do, our relationships or lack of, the way we think, our emotions and behavior, all the way to the reason of our existence.

My good friend and counsellor, Derrick Shirley, sent me one of the most enlightening passages I have read in the longest time.  

For all those people looking for answers, take the time to read the passage below:

 

I beg you… to have patience with everything unresolved

in your heart

And try to love the questions themselves

As if they were locked rooms or books written

in a very foreign language.

Don’t search for the answers,

which could not be given to you now,

Because you would not be able to live them.

And the point is, to live everything.

Live the questions now. Perhaps then, someday far in the future,

You will gradually, without even noticing it,

Live your way into the answer…
(rainer maria rilke) 

 

I lost count how many times I have read this.  I find that every time I read it, it gives me a deeper awareness into myself, my actions, my emotions and my behavior.

I love it, thanks Derrick.

Would love to know how it makes you feel after you read this.

Fred Sarkari 

How To Understand Our Feelings and Behaviours

All I remember is the world disappearing right in front of me and the past became the present.

I was driving yesterday afternoon and out of no where my mind shifted from where I was at that moment in time to snapshots of my life in the last month.

I pulled over, for some odd reason did not have  a paper and pen so I opened up my computer and started typing.  

I also realized that it was a while since I had written in my journal.  The more I wrote the more came out.  The snapshots of my past month become even more vivid and clearer.  I could not only re-live all my emotions and behaviors but I could see them from the outside, as a third party.  

In that process I learned so much about myself, a sense of awareness and clarity of what makes Fred click.

I am not too sure how many people still journal their thoughts these days.  I do know of some and those that do are always more aware of themselves.  If we are not aware of our emotions, pains, joys and reasons behind our actions than how effective can we be in any relationship in our lives?  Be it with our spouse, partners, professional lives and most importantly our children.  

After typing out 7 pages from yesterday to today I put the following status on my facebook and was asked a very critical question in my email:

“Everybody should journal. learned more about myself in the last 2 days from writing than any course can teach me. writing creates clarity.”

“Fred can you explain to me what you meant by writing things down, what sort of things should you journal daily?  Events, thoughts, feelings???”

 

What is journaling?     Why should we Journal?

 

What is Journaling?

Journaling is nothing more than writing your thoughts and emotions down.  Anytime we feel something, any emotion, about a circumstance in our life – we should journal our thoughts and feelings. 

Some people journal events in order to look back one day and have a record of their life.  That is amazing in itself.  But that is not what I am talking about here.  I am talking about journaling your thoughts, emotions, feelings and your behaviors in a particular situation.  This will one day allow you to look back and see who you really are as a person, what makes you click, how you consistently think, where you need to improve and grow.

For example: Someone did something to hurt your feelings.  

• Starting writing about what you are feeling?
• Why do you think you are feeling it?
• Where do you think those feelings are truly coming from?  
• One of the most critical questions, is this more about you or the person that supposedly made you feel this way?

 

What you will find is that your behaviors are not a direct reflection of your true feelings.

 As most of us are not aware enough to even know what our true feeling are.  

Why should we journal?

 

We are not directly trying to answer questions to a situation, but by writing down the above questions we start creating what we call Aha! moments.  Which in turn creates clarity behind our emotions and behaviors.  

Unless we become aware of our state of mind, we have no control in our lives, in our relationships, all we can do is react to situations.  And we all know the outcome when we react under high emotional state.

Journaling helps us put ourself outside of the situation we were in.  Its like watching two people argue and as an outside person you can see the situation clearer than they ever can.  That is what journaling does for us in our own situations we face.

Writing things down creates clarity in our thoughts and behaviors.  

We try so hard to understand others and their behaviors.  One can never understand another person beyond their own comprehension.  

 

Happy Journaling, 

Fred sarkari

What It Takes To Succeed In This Market: 3 Critical Elements of Success

Ever wonder why some businesses are successful and some are not?  More so, why are some business thriving in this market while others are barely surviving?

There are 3 critical elements that every successful and sustainable business have in common.

We have heard it many times, that attitude is everything.  You cannot succeed without the right attitude.  What we have to understand is that attitude is only one variable of success and has a very specific job.

Attitude keeps you alive, it sustains you when no one else believes in you.  The right attitude keeps you going even when you lose belief in yourself at times.

The right attitude will sustain you

but attitude on its own is nothing more than living a life of fantasy

as it will never give you results.

Systems on the other hand, lead to results.  What we have to understand is that every success and failure is a direct reflection of the systems that created them.

That being said, the right system only means possible results.

The 3rd and critical element is the actual implementation.  In any market or economy you can have the right attitude and an effective system but if you do not have the courage to implement than you will have nothing more than a fantasy of possible results.

In conclusion, every successful and sustainable business has the following 3 elements:

1. The right attitude.

2. An effective system of success.

3. The courage to implement.

Fred Sarkari

What Does Easter Mean To Me? 2 Things…

What should I write about during Easter weekend?  As always, I will just write on what flows through my mind at that moment in time.

Two thoughts just came to my mind.  (this flow stuff actually works)

1. The beauty around us.

2. To Love somebody.

This weekend means different things for different people, in the end it is a weekend of celebration, a weekend of thanks and giving.

I wounder if people are so busy with their lives theses days, always chasing something for tomorrow that will we slow down enough to truly enjoy a gifted weekend?

I took a walk by the lake today and what a beautiful sight it was.  How often do we take the time to notice the beauty around us.  Too often we get numbed to our environment.

Do you still notice the sent of Spring in the air or do we just breath to survive for the next moment?   Truly visualize the calmness of the still lake or do we drive right by it as we know it will be there tomorrow?  Are we running so fast in life that we do not look up to embrace the clear blue sky in fear of running into something?

Are we so busy, so occupied with our daily activities, that we do not even notice the beauty all around us.  The outdoors, our spouses, our children or the stranger that crosses our path.

To Love Somebody.  Easter, the weekend of giving and being thankful is in essence to love somebody else than our selfish self-centered egos. (wow! that sounds a little harsh).

What does it mean to love, to love a tree, to love a person, to love a bird, to love and not expect anything in return?  Most of us are not courageous enough to love that way.

We truly do not know what love is when we put our love against an expectation of any sort of return.

What a beautiful thing to love and not expect anything in return.  To love someone as long as they love you is a business of trade.  Love cannot be bought or sold it is a precious gift to be given and received all on its own.

This Easter weekend I challenge you to:

1. Slow down your mind enough to enjoy and cherish the moments around you.  Feel every breath of yours and those of your loved ones.

2. Have the courage to love, just simply love for the sake of loving.

Have Easter to everyone.

Fred Sarkari

How and Why Do Brand’s Work? – Drink a Corona to Find Out

Nick, you are amazing. Do you have a case of Corona prior to your board meetings to ignite creativity?  

 

Nick Kossovan is a creative writer. Always shares the greatest comments. This one on branding had to be turned into its own mini post.

 

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NICK:

Late Saturday night I was on my 7th or 8th Corona when then purpose of brand hit me.

Out of the multitude of beers on the market why do I keep only ordering Corona?

Why does my drinking buddy only order Moosehead? Why do we become loyal to one particular brand, other than to be part of a tribe?

Brands thrive because they are decision making short cuts for time starved consumers.

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“Brands thrive because they are decision making short cuts

for time starved consumers.”

 

That is great insight on brands. We have created such a fast paced technological environment in our lives that everything we do revolves around saving time and creating short cuts.

 

We live in a convenience world. We went from PHONE CALLS to EMAILS to SHORT BLACK BERRY EMAILS to.. Now I will even get a text message from an executive client.

 

It is great that we have all the resources possible in order for us to buy our time back for more important things in our lives.

Unfortunately all we do with this extra time is fill it with more urgent reactions to our environment.

 

I am all about being effective and efficient in my life – That being said there is a specific reason for doing so. It is not to fill my time with more crap that I do not care for, but more so to make time for the things I enjoy and the ones I love to spend time with.

 

Ask yourself, 2 few critical questions:

1. What do I find my self reacting to everyday?

2. What priorities do I find myself not making time for?

 

We have become so busy in our technological – short cut lives, always chasing the next deal, chasing the next account, chasing the urgency – thinking it will help us get further in life.

 

In doing so, we have lost sight of the most valuable gifts in our life.

The ones we love, our relationships, our parents, our spouse and our children.

 

When was the last time we shut the world out in order to truly love the time with our loved ones?

 

Fred Sarkari